Business, economic development - the unofficial Chamber of Commerce

Nicole is a smart ten year old. She, like all smart ten year olds, is full of questions, some embarrassing, some mundane. But to her they are just things she needs help with. Things she doesn’t understand. Things she knows her mum, Anita knows the answer to.

“Mum. What’s death meditation?” she shouted from her bedroom.

“Where did you hear that love?” Anita called back from her study.

“I heard two men talking about it on TV”. “The red headed man said a man called Steve Jobs said every morning he looks in the mirror and asks himself,

“If today were the last day of my life would I want to do what I am about to do today? And whenever the answer has been No for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something”

“Oh!” said a relieved Anita as she saved the presentation she was working on and headed off towards Nicole’s bedroom. “It’s a way of looking at your life and only doing what’s important. People think that if they know when they are going to die then they would do different things”.

“Well. If I’m going to die tonight I don’t want to think all I did was go to school today. I want to spend my time playing with my toys” replied a sharp Nicole.

“Ah. That’s not quite what it means. It doesn’t mean you stop doing things you don’t like doing. It means you must look at the reasons you do things as well as the activities themselves”.

“Look, I know you don’t like school very much and if you listen to what the red headed man said, you shouldn’t go. But another way of understanding what the red headed man is saying is to look underneath the words. He is also saying what do you feel? Are you doing things that you wish you weren’t every day. Things that you know deep down you shouldn’t be doing. Are you learning new things that will be of benefit to you and the world? Or are you just doing the same things everyday out of habit.”

“Oh I get it. If I go to Miss Smiths English class and look out of the window and just say what I know she wants me to say just to keep her happy then I might as well not be there”.

“Yes. In other words a robot, like your toy, could be programmed to do that”.

“If that’s what you do. Then the red headed man is saying you need to change your attitude otherwise what’s the point of being alive”.

“So if I don’t want to do what I do in Miss Smith’s class. I can change the way I behave and ask Miss Smith questions when I don’t understand”.

“Exactly”.

“It’s like when you play with your toys. I call you and call you for lunch but you don’t hear me. You’re in a world of your own. You’re totally involved in the game you are playing. That is what the man means”.

“But mum. He said. Death meditation. What’s that?”

“Ah that’s doing what Mr. Jobs does, saying to yourself every morning before you go to school. If I was to die tonight would I be happy with what I am about to do? What would be the best thing to do with the time I have left?”

“Now it may not be playing with your toys. It may be that it would be better if you said sorry to Dominic for stamping on his lunch when he dropped it on the floor. It may be better to do your best at everything you do rather than just turn up. It may be you try harder at the things you find difficult rather than just give in”.

“It may be that you spend time with Jane rather than ignore her because she doesn’t like the toys and pop songs you like”.

“You see some people of the world believe that the way you get out of bed and what you say to yourself first in the morning affects the way the day will be. So, if you get out of bed in a bad mood and say to yourself that school is terrible and English sucks then that is the experience you will get. But if you make an effort to start the day by being happy and seeing the good things then things happen differently”.

“So, Mum, if I think of Mr. Thomas as a nice man who is trying to help me rather than a horrible teacher who just tells me off all the time. It will be better.
“Yes. You will learn more”.

“Mum!”

“If you died right now would you be pleased with what you have done today?”

“No. If I look back on my day there are some things I would like to change.”

“What do you wish you’d done?”

“Most of it’s about my attitude. The way I spoke to people. I wish I hadn’t been so aggressive, so arrogant with people. I wish I had listened more to Josey when she was talking to me”

“That’s enough. It’s time for bed now.”

“Awe Mum!”

“If you were going to die in a few hours would you be doing this?”

“Yes because it’s for your benefit. You can sit and think about what we said before you go to sleep rather than just ask more questions”.

“That’s what death meditation is about. As well as thinking about doing your best in life. Meditation is also about reflecting on what you have done and thinking about the answers people have given you to the questions you asked.”

“It’s called reflecting on life”.

See you in the morning.

Graham and Julie
http://www.desktop-meditation.com

If you want to improve and enhance the quality of your life go to:
http://www.desktop-meditation.com It’s free.

Transformational Counseling is about assisting others to
transform their life. Transformational Counseling is a process
of assisting others to learn how to let go of the past and live
fully in the present. To live fully in the present is to become
awaken to what is truly real and to our own natural power. Much
of our life is spent living in the past, and in the process,
attempting to fix it, to make it something that it is or was
not. It is from living in the past that we also attempt to
create our future, the result always being a living of life as
it was in the past. Transformation takes place when we learn to
exist in and be present to the Now.

The practice of staying present to our natural power and to that
which is real is becoming conscious to what is so, to the Now,
to the present. What is so, the Now, has no meaning and exists
outside of thought and language. As human beings we tend to give
meaning to everything, including other people, ourselves and
even life itself. It is in our meaning making that we leave the
present and create our life from the past, a life that can be
filled with a great deal of anxiety, fear and stress. What is so
merely exists and it is in the experience of the Now that we
begin to live a life of power and freedom, a life and way of
being free from our past.

A specific technique that is very powerful for practicing
staying present to the Now is meditation. It is in meditation
that one creates the space to experience a very deep state of
relaxation, a state that is very healing to both the mind and
body. As we know, in meditation ones metabolism slows down,
including heart rate and blood pressure. The consistent practice
of meditation will reduce anxiety and stress. For some the
practice of meditation allows them to access true Being. For
others it is way of reconnecting to the Spirit within us. It is
in the consistent practice of meditation that the subject and
object distinction inherent in language, thought and meaning
making collapses thereby resulting in our access to the present,
to the Now.

The meditative process can be enhanced by the use of therapeutic
relaxation music. Music has always been a very powerful modality
for promoting a very deep state of relaxation and even healings.
I have found that musical compositions that are harmonically
slow, repetitious, with sustained voices, which are
rhythmically, random in tempo assists an individual in
experiencing a very deep state of relaxation. A second important
component of the use of therapeutic relaxation music is the use
of binaural audio tones that have been interwoven into the
music. The binaural tones, through a process referred to as
entrainment or frequency following, gently guides or directs the
mind/body to generate more of the targeted frequency of brain
wave activity for an even more profound state of relaxation.

The meditative process of practicing staying present to the Now
is as follows:

1. Take a comfortable position in an upright sitting position.

2. Allow your legs and arms to be open.

3. Allow your eyes to focus upon a chosen object. The chosen
object could be a candle light in a darkened room or any point
that you choose.

4. As you focus on the chosen object, allow your muscles to
slowly relax from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.

5. Take three slow deep breathes in through your nose as you
inhale. Hold each breath to the mental count of four. Slowly
exhale each breath out through your mouth. Continue to breath at
a slow pace after the three breaths.

6. Continue to focus on the chosen object. When your mind
wanders to some thought or thoughts slowly and gently bring it
back to your focused concentration upon the chosen object.
Simply let go of the thoughts that arise. The thoughts are from
the past. Stay focused to what is so.

7. Continue the practice for a prescribed period of time and
then go about your daily activities. Each day that you practice
you may even choose to lengthen the time you spend with this
technique.

The ability to stay in the present, to access the Now, can be
enhanced with the consistent practice of meditation. What this
will necessitate is one making the practice of meditation apart
of his or her daily schedule. With the consistent practice of
meditation one will also create the ability to stay even more
present to what is so even when not actively engaged in the
meditative process. It is through a commitment to the practice
of meditation on a daily basis that one will begin to live more
fully in the Now.

1. Be grateful: start or end every day by appreciating what you have rather than what you don’t have. Make a ritual of it: “I’m grateful for ..” Do this 5 times, listing a different thing each time.

2. Put your fork or your sandwich down between mouthfuls. This way you are likely to eat less and enjoy your food more.

3. Talk to a friend - not by email, but over the phone, or better still get together.

4. Sit at the table to eat, but clear the table of bills, things to do, etc. It doesn’t help your digestion, looking at your unpaid bills while you eat.

5. Walk (or jog or run) a little more. You should be taking 10,000 steps a day, but most people are only taking 3,000 to 4,000. Buying a pedometer will help to keep your motivation up.

6. Drink more water. It’s good for your skin, helps you to avoid constipation, and may help you to lose weight as we often misinterpret the body’s thirst request as a food request.

7. Volunteer to help someone else. Research shows that we live longer and happier lives if we spend time helping others rather than just thinking about ourselves.

8. Have a laugh. Buy yourself a child’s joke book, and indulge, or buy a bubble making machine and run around after the bubbles (see tip 5)

9. Look at the sky. Research has shown that people in hospital make a better recovery if they can see the sky from their hospital beds. Why wait to be ill? Enjoy it now.

Jane Thurnell-Read is a writer and researcher on happiness, health and alternative medicine. Go to her web site at http://www.healthandgoodness.com for self-help tips, information and inspiration on how to be happy.

You are about to discover a simple technique for creating massive changes in your quality of life.

Do you want to be happier? This technique can help.

Do you want more time to spend with your family or friends, or even just time to relax by yourself? Then this seven day challenge is perfect for you.

And best of all, it’s really easy to do.

What is it?

For the next seven days, turn off the news!

Do not watch any news on the television.

Do not listen to any news on the radio.

Do not read the newspaper.

And do not have a news headline website as your browser’s home page.

Seven days! No news!

Can you do it?

Reducing exposure to the negativity of the news has produced massive changes in my life. It can and will do the same for you. However, please don’t take my word for it. Try it for just seven days and see for yourself.

The time will pass very quickly, so what have you got to lose? Worst case, you’ll miss a bit of news. Best case, you’ll be happier and more excited about your life. So, let’s give it a go!

Why does this work? Simply because one of the fundamental laws of nature is that our thoughts produce our reality. If we focus our attention on the negatives in life, we will give power to the negativity, and it will grow.

If we remove that negativity from our lives and focus on the positives, we will tend to create more positives.

The news is extremely negative. And the fact is that exposing yourself to most of this negativity adds NO value at all to your life.

Simply put, turning off the news shields you from the onslaught of negativity and leaves you with time to fill your life with positives.

So what you do with the extra time you now have available?

No, do not just watch other TV!

You want to replace this time with positive experiences which add value to your life.

Spend some time alone considering your life. Find out who you are. Find your life’s purpose, or your higher calling. Set some major goals for your future. Where would you like to go? Who would you like to go there with? What would you like to do for a living, if there were no limitations?

Spend some time with the people who are important in your life- your family and friends.

Consider getting back to nature. Take some time out for a relaxing walk in a park. Or sit at the beach and watch the waves. Relax!

This is not just hiding from reality, and living in a fantasy land. I don’t expect you to forever hide from what’s going on in the world, especially in your local community. Just cut out all exposure to the negativity for seven days and then consider whether you feel happier and more excited about life.

Once you’re aware of this alternative, happier way of living, you can then find a balance between being aware of current affairs, and your need to maintain separation from those issues.

There is absolutely nothing to be gained by worrying about what’s going on elsewhere, especially when it’s outside of your sphere of influence. When you understand that, you can then choose what you listen to or watch on TV. You will regain control.

If there is something that you need to know, trust me, someone will tell you anyway.

And you will have more time available to experience a positive and friendly world.

If you like the improvement this brings to your quality of life, then perhaps you could consider this is just a start. Why not also eliminate other TV which adds no value to your life.

Seven days, no news! The results will be life-changing.

It’s easy to do. However it’s also easy to not-do. Which will you choose?

Even if there’s only the smallest chance of this working, wouldn’t it be worth trying?

I know you can do it. Go for it!

Lance Beggs.

Copyright Lance Beggs. All Rights Reserved.

Lance Beggs is the author of “How to be Happy Now”. His mission is to help others live a life of meaning, love and happiness! Subscribe to his FREE ezine at www.HowToBeHappyNow.com

Trust must be among the most fascinating word of the English language, as it connects the spiritual realm to the practical. See for yourself: Trust describes simultaneously an indubitable sense of certainty in a favorable outcome, while defining a legal arrangement through a fiduciary relationship. Clearly this little word has the power to join heaven to earth! No wonder it might take us a little while to get used to it! “In God, we trUSt”, which stamps our US currency, is a direct illustration of its bridging power. There is most assuredly great wealth to retrieve from having trust. Yet how do you come into it? Where do you buy it?

1. Order

Trust implies embracing a bigger picture than the little self, which wants its “due” rewards, its gratification right here, right now… Whereas the little self makes it all about me, trust espouses a bigger perspective, this of community. That is how it spells trUSt, because it makes it about US, all about Uniting our states to our Spirit, because then we can trust. Trust calls you to let go of the needs of the small self long enough you can become aware of your environment, and realize that events do not happen arbitrarily, but instead that they reflect an underlying order, potentially divine, where all works interdependently, where there are no favorite, but instead an orchestrated symphony of goodness, a magical web distributing blessings to each of us equanimously….

2. Courage

Trust implies having the courage to wait for what is good, true and beautiful to appear. It is a process well known by true artists, who will not act until inspiration prompts them to create. The movie “Jackson Pollock” offers a perfect example of that, when the artist, having received the most important commission of his life, is filmed, waiting and waiting and waiting some more, just starring at the canvas. His girlfriend, in her worrying, attempted to coerce him to paint, to no avail. Gently escorting her out of his studio, as if no thought could disturb him from waiting for the beloved, he went back to his active listening. To him, time did not exist: he knew without the shadow of a doubt the beloved, the inspiration, would come… That takes tremendous courage. That is heART!

3. Collaboration

Trust offers no pressure, no tension, and no frustration: it gives you instead the chance to take full responsibility, and to merge impeccably with the task at hand. This partnership with the divine is an evolved friendship where no one participant is led astray, left abandoned, or betrayed. Never in this co-creation is there a sense of victimhood, of false expectations, of irrational demands that ruin the mood for love and limit excellence. Not at all passive, but an act of willful participation into the workings of the universe, trust is relaxed enough, easy, playful, light enough, that things happen for the good of all, naturally. In playing your part, your work transforms into worship, and your doing becomes a prayer that has no attachment to the outcome… Delicious!

4. Economy

Economy is such an economical word: I love it! And in fact, distrust is as contracting as it can be expensive, and yes, I did check my spelling! Think of all the errors you made, because you did not have the heart to wait for the proper romantic partner, for the right house, for the job that would really fulfill your sense of self! Even down the smallest decisions, where would you be if you had the forbearance to wait for your turn, be in purchasing socks, in speaking to a teller, in driving… Wouldn’t that trust spare you a few inconveniences, dollars, and challenging emotions? “You can’t hurry love, no, you just have to wait…”

5. Integrity

Generally not influenced by the opinions of others, people who trust are their own masters, and know they are perfect, whole, complete, and connected, as would say my friend Goddess. Doubt is viewed as an outsider’s opinion, an intrusion which is not welcome in their mental space. They do not spend energy descending in the nauseating pit of worrying either. What for? They resolved at some point to starve their ego by not feeding it prideful worry… Worry as an expression of pride? Think of it: when you worry, aren’t you rivaling against goodness? Aren’t you putting your money on not trusting God, (what an irony!)? Aren’t you placing a bet on no God, no good, no grace, and no celebration? Integrity starts at home, and builds a foundation that has no cracks, and that offers no possibility for doubt or worry to creep in… Integrity is whole, not hole.

6. Discernment

Discernment is another big deal. I often hear how hard it is to recognize the voice of ego from truth. And how true is that statement? It really comes down to the powerful serenity prayer of the 12 steppers: discernment is simply the wisdom to know the difference. And truth is: you will only be finished with your addiction to smoking when you will be. You are only done when you are, not one minute earlier or later, be it with overeating or worrying. Be it with overworking or arguing. When it’s over, it’s over, and you’ll know it. Anything else is trying, not trusting! So next time you are confused, see if you can accept you are not quite ready for the way truth is going to change your life. Discernment is only that: the willingness to know the difference between stage 1 (accepting) and stage 2 (transforming). Thus discernment asks you to grow up into maturity, and own the consequences of your actions. “I did it! I am confused: that must be perfection!”

7. Paradox

The beauty of the trust challenge is that it is a paradox, in the sense that it requires you to quit wanting to know, or wanting to be right! That is an enormously big deal, a deal which is the most terrifying experience for humans… It is indeed much easier to buy insurances, to hire a fortune teller, to invest in strategies and techniques, to analyze the courses of stars, and listen to forecasts, JUST SO THAT WE COULD RELAX. Until the day when all the strategies, all the charts, all the plans, all the safety devices fall apart. And that is the good news, because this breakdown can be a breakthrough to allow your metaphoric tent of peace to be built, without a roof, just so that we could see the stars before falling asleep… Or falling awake, peaceful and now relaxed, because you came to trust your lucky star, rather than question it!

8. Surrender

As I write these words, I cannot help but take a deep breath. As I know how much I have worried, and schemed, and manipulated, and strived. I know how hard I tried (that word, again) to control a particular outcome. I know how much I worked at losing weight, how much energy I placed in building my business, how long I looked for love… If these words are touching you, if the truth of my heart reaches you, if you are tired and have followed so many paths, turned so many stones, and still have found no peace, then stop. That’s right: simply STOP, right here, right now. And I do not mean to go indulge on ice cream if your weight is a concern. I do not mean to not call your clients. I mean to stop the madness. I mean to relax. I mean to take a breath with me right now. I mean to look around the room you are in. Yes, let go of this computer page, and simply look around you. Go follow a butterfly. There is life. You are not alone. And you are invited. Come!

9. Totality

Yes, the invitation is total. There is no looking back, or you will be turned into a pillar of salt: not a sweet deal, I promise! You cannot surrender half way, no more than you can forgive half way, no more than you can commit half way, or trust half way. You either do or you don’t. You have to let the soul orgasm ride you utterly, and bring you, defenseless, to the ecstasy of your true self. You have to know in your heart that you will be OK on the other side. Yes, it is a passage, a death of sorts. Totally! Yet, do you like what you’ve got now so much that it is worth hanging onto? I don’t think so… I have always found that the pain was before making the decision. That is how there is talk of cold feet before getting married. Totality is a love story. Totality jumps fiercely and responds yes, a big YES, an “I do”. Totality trusts, wholeheARTedly.

10. Freedom

The memory of that moment is engraved in my heart forever, when Byron Katie, one of my beloved teachers, answered my expressed jealousy to see her having it all: “Yes, honey, I have everything I want because I want everything there is.” I knew that for her it was true. True that she wanted it all. That she ultimately had no parts inside her that was attached to an opinion, a preference, an idea, a judgment, an expectation. That all hang-ups, all contractions were gone. Gone for good. That what was left was an open heart, an open hand, a compassionate listening, and a willingness to serve, no matter what, ready to do what it takes. I cannot but gasp as I settle as I would into a really cold bath, little by little, into the freedom of wanting it all, sickness and health, poverty and wealth, birth and death: what a trip! What an adventure! How delightful can trust be!

Mahalene is an Inspiration Anchor, an Artist, an Author and the President of Soulvision Axis, Inc., a company assisting visionaries to unleash their creativity and awaken their spirit. She authored the Ten Techniques for heARTful living, as a result of 22 years of study and experience in creativity, communication and human development.

Beyond several local publications and national e-publications to which she is a regular contributor, she currently writes a blog (http://www.mahasblog.com) and publishes a monthly e-zine, Stop Trying, Start Trusting Mahazine, addressed to visionaries, holistic coaches, and consultants on the way to birth their personal and professional leadership. She also offers a Seven Weeks Mini-course, mad from the heART, and mini inspiring movies. Please do feel free to check out her work; http://www.mahalenelouis.com.

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Unless noted otherwise, all material is written and edited by Mahalene Louis, Copyright (c) Soulvision Axis, Inc. (r) 2003. All rights reserved. You may reprint material from “Turn on the Light!” Top Ten in other electronic or print publications provided the above copyright notice and a link to http://www.mahalenelouis.com is included in the credits. Also please send us a copy of the publication. When forwarding this material, please send the entire article intact and unadulterated.

“There’s nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”
- William Shakespeare

The title of this great Cole Porter song -Night and Day - also describes the sometimes changeable nature of my outlook on life.

Example: It is late evening, and I’m thinking about all I have to accomplish in the week ahead - book publishing details, workshop preparation, handouts to finish, that audiorecording script I want to write, a call to my sister, plane reservations to Chicago, and so on, not to mention the minutiae of phone calls, email, internet searches, and follow up associated with each project. I feel overwhelmed, tired, self-absorbed, and incapacitated.

Next morning: I awake before dawn and do some deep breathing. I meditate, watch the sun rise, and eagerly anticipate the day. Today, I will learn the ship date for my book, have the opportunity to create a new piece of writing, plan a workshop, and maybe take a walk and enjoy some fresh air.

The same circumstances that seemed daunting, scary, and impossible to manage the night before appear filled with potential this morning. I am doomed - I am lucky. I’ll get sick - I feel great! I will certainly fail - My day is filled with promise.

My husband Jim and I call these “Night and Day” viewpoints the Good Reality and the Bad Reality. I would rather be in the Good Reality - positive, pleasant, and full of possibility. The sun is shining, birds singing, and life is easy, flowing and fun. Problems exist, but I can handle them. My energy is strong and resilient.

But sometimes I drop into the Bad Reality, where life is difficult, depressing, and stressful. I feel weighed down, inadequate, and powerless. I can’t find my energy or my spirit.

Is it a choice? I think it is. Something is happening out there, and my viewing lens changes my experience. My thinking makes it so.

Sometimes I can get there on my own steam. I just change my mind, or laugh at myself, or both. When I’m too tired to find the road back, I rest or take myself out for a cup of tea. When I am kind to myself, the Good Reality always returns.

And so I experiment with the Reality channel and how the external world changes with my viewing lens. Shall I live in the Good or Bad Reality today? How about you? Which one are you in now? Can you cross over?

I would love to hear from you on these questions. The capacity to believe that by changing my thinking I can change my reality is a gift. I know this. Partly, my life is about sharing this gift.

I hope you’re in the Good Reality today.

About the Author: Judy Ringer is the author of Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict, containing stories and practices on turning life’s challenges into life teachers. Judy is a black belt in aikido and nationally known presenter, specializing in unique workshops on conflict, communication, and creating a more positive work environment. She is the founder of Power & Presence Training, and chief instructor of Portsmouth Aikido, Portsmouth, NH, USA. To sign up for more free tips and articles like these, visit www.JudyRinger.com.

Do you often feel lonely, anxious, or even depressed? Is a mid-life or quarter-life crisis threatening your confidence, self-esteem and well-being? Do you yearn for practical advice on enhancing, balancing and bringing new joy to your personal and professional life?

Tens of millions of Americans answer a resounding “yes” to one or more of those questions. After all, statistics report that more than 19 million of us are diagnosed with depression each year. Here are seven simple exercises to enhance your life for a lifetime:

1) ACCEPT THE LESSONS THAT ARE PRESENTED TO YOU

At times, we like to play the victim role when things happen to us that are painful and difficult. First, change your attitude towards those events. A change in your mindset creates miraculous shifts in energy. Changing your perspective makes a negative situation suddenly appear positive.

Next, spend time with yourself to understand the challenge for what it really is by journaling and/or meditating. In your quiet time, ask yourself why the situation or person was presented to you.

Appreciate the person, thing or experience that brings you the lesson. Recognize that these situations are the impetus for change. For instance, we may have a boss that makes our job so difficult that we decide to find a new job.

Then, when we find this new career and love it, we wonder why we didn’t change jobs sooner. In this scenario, it is important for us to realize that if we didn’t have a boss who made us want to leave our job, then we might have never left.

2) APPRECIATE ALL THINGS - GREAT AND SMALL

The lack of happiness stems from the lack of recognizing that we do indeed have so much to be thankful. Even the person who feels that they have nothing, upon introspection, they can find that they are blessed with abundance. For instance, do we think about the gift of sight or the gift of hearing? These are indeed gifts and we often forget that they are gifts.

Take time to observe someone who suffers with some type of physical impairment. For instance, how long does it take them to get from their car to the front door of the grocery store? How long does it take them to do their grocery shopping? Perhaps, it takes them twice as long as you do or even longer. Whatever that time may be, we take for granted that we can just park, hop out of our car and go shopping. Instead, look around and observe how much you have.

3) BEGIN A GRATITUDE JOURNAL

Write in a journal at the end of each day. Note two things for which you are grateful. You may want to recall what made you smile, laugh or feel good all over. An example might be that you appreciate the warmth of the sun or hearing the birds chirp on a morning walk. Journaling may make you realize that life indeed has much to offer that is available for free - we just have to recognize it!

Create a journal for a spouse/significant other. How many times do we think about what we lack instead of thinking about we have? We might focus on behaviors such our spouse forgetting to take out the trash. We may even verbalize these thoughts to them.

However, did we make any comments about the things that our spouse/significant other did unprompted? Did we say thank you? Did we even recognize it? Creating a journal for your beloved can have two benefits. First, you will recognize and be grateful for what you have. Second, the journal allows for your spouse/significant other to feel appreciated.

4) TEACH CHILDREN ABOUT GRATITUDE

Children model adult behaviors. Thus, when they see us say thank you or send thank you cards, we are showing our children the importance of being grateful. Make time to show a child ways to be appreciative. This can be your child, the neighbor’s child, a grandchild or a niece or nephew. A simple activity would be that you could assist them in making a thank you card.

5) CREATE LISTS

There many different kinds of list that you can create to facilitate a new zest for life. Here are a few topics to consider:

• Ten body parts that work well

• Ten people who have assisted you

• Ten things that give you joy and happiness

• Ten things that you do well

• Ten activities that make you smile

• Ten things that you like about yourself

6) SEND THANK YOU CARDS

Recall the last time that you received a thank you card in the mail. How did you feel? Reignite the same feelings by writing a thank you card for someone else.

7) INCREASE YOUR AWARENESS

Make gratitude a daily part of your routine. Participate in some type of activity each day that brings gratitude into your existence. Recognize that being grateful allows more good things to come into your life.

About The Author

© 2004 All Rights Reserved. Theresa Castro, MBA, is career coach and author of the critically-acclaimed book, The Dark Before the Dawn: 70 Secrets to Self-discovery in which she outlines strategies for repairing relationships, finding the ideal career, learning to relax and effectively balancing work and life. For more information, visit www.TheresaCastro.com.

Theresa@TheresaCastro.com

OPTIMISM MONTH: March 1- 31, 2006

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Do you often expect bad things to happen? Pessimists are like the fairy tale about Chicken Little. In the fairy tale, Chicken Little kept shouting, ‘Help, help the sky is falling’. In contrast, optimistic people expect the best. Don’t worry however, I co- founded OPTIMISM MONTH, which runs from March 1st -31st, 2005. If you’re a pessimist don’t get discouraged. Optimism is not a disposition you are born with or without. It’s a learned skill, and a very important ingredient determining your level of happiness. I suggest practicing these tips each week of Optimism Month:

Week 1: De-tox Your Mind

To get rid of negative or intruding bad thoughts remember this “Rule of Optimism”: You can only keep one thought in your mind at a time. You can focus your thoughts on either pessimistic or optimistic thoughts. It’s your choice. Pessimistic people focus on gloomy thoughts of how they could fall down and not get up. They expect the worst to happen. Optimistic people expect the best. So, houseclean your head. This week, when setbacks or problems pop-up, immediately focus on finding a solution. Pessimistic people focus on complaining, but happy and optimistic people focus on solutions.

Week 2: Optimism and Happiness by the Numbers

Are you obsessed with negative thoughts? A simple way to become optimistic is to count your way to more positive thoughts. It’s easy to become an expert at switching your negative and bad thoughts to more positive and upbeat thoughts and feelings. So, this week your assignment is to focus on counting and switching your bad thoughts to upbeat and uplifting thoughts. Each time you have a negative thought, immediately switch to a positive thought or solutions to your woes. Write a tally mark on a pad of paper each time you switch like this each day. Your goal is to decrease the number of times you need to switch. For example, at first you may need to switch 50 times. In time, you will decrease it to 30, 20 or 10 times a day. If you are obsessively negative, you will become obsessively positive using this technique.

Week 3: Avoid Emotional Vampires

Are you a loser magnet? Do you attract emotional vampires or losers into your life? To become more optimistic — avoid emotional vampires. Pessimistic people allow “emotional vampires” to suck their positive feelings right out of their skulls. Emotional vampires include people who put you down, criticize you or mock or sabotage your dreams and aspirations. This week, take survey of your life by making a list of people and situations you are exposing yourself to. Then, discard or limit people, habits or situations that keep you from feeling optimistic and happy. In other words, “burn your bridges” if needed. Remember: Happy and optimistic people hang around with personal cheerleaders. Unhappy people surround themselves with emotional vampires.

Week 4: Act Like An Optimist

To begin acting like an optimist yourself, you need to learn what they do. Optimistic people act and carry themselves in certain ways. First, they use certain words. The words people use can effect their mood. Changing your words can actually change your attitude and feelings. I recommend using “upbeat” words instead of “upset” words. For example, you can say, “I feel overwhelmed.” Or, “I feel challenged … nevertheless I can do it”. Second, optimists and happy individuals take big steps, walk faster and stand taller. In sharp contrast, pessimistic and unhappy people shuffle their feet, take tiny steps, walk slowly and slouch. This week, use upbeat words and watch how you carry your body. Use the word choices and body posture of optimistic people.

Using each of these techniques during Optimism Month will help you become happy and optimistic. They are easy to carry out and will create a positive domino effect with people in your life.

Maryann Troiani, Psy.D., is a speaker & consultant with The Mercer Group, Inc., in Barrington, Illinois. She delivers speeches & workshops at meetings & conferences. She co-authored the book, “SPONTANEOUS OPTIMISM: Proven Strategies for Health, Prosperity & Happiness”. Dr. Troiani has tele-coached people with her ‘optimism & change-your-life” techniques. She has appeared on Oprah & hundred of TV & radio shows. You can email her at drmary@mercersystems.com or call 847-382-0690.

Life Coach Advice

Who doesn’t enjoy being listened to? We crave good friends and a partner in life with whom we can share our life experiences, both good and bad. Whether we are mad, sad, frustrated, happy or excited, we crave the company of a good listener. This includes the simplest of inconsequential daily conversations.

Even though we like be listened to, most of us are not very good at listening. Be honest, often we are so caught up in what we want to say and how we feel that we stop hearing what others are saying to us. As a life and relationship coach, I see many disputes prolonged because people just don’t hear one another.

Listening is at the core of relationships and understanding. If you don’t listen, how do you learn about each other or make each other feel good about the relationship? Being listened to makes us feel validated and relieved of built up thoughts and feelings.

In all relationships, particularly intimate ones, it is as important to be a good listener as it is to be heard. Working with couples my job often is to restate what each person is saying because each person is caught up in how they feel and they no longer hear each other. You cannot understand what another person is saying or feeling if you do not take the time to see things from their perspective. Until you hear what is being said you cannot work through the issues, compromise and resolve your differences.

There are skills to being a good listener and listening with what I call an “open ear.”

Having an open ear means becoming an active listener. It means not wanting to say anything. Your primary focus is on what is being said rather than what you want to say. When you release yourself from the need to comment, you can focus entirely on what you are hearing. You become fully present and the speaker knows you are paying attention. Your body language should be relaxed with no fidgeting. If you act restless or bored, the speaker becomes self-conscious.

Keep eye contact. When you focus your eyes on the speaker, it keeps you from wandering into your own thoughts and it allows the speaker’s facial expressions to accentuate the story. Listen both with your ears and your eyes. Let the speaker know you are listening not by interrupting to say something, but by keeping your focus on them.

Listen and don’t speak. Believe it or not, most people including you don’t want too much feedback. They simply need you to hear them. With that in mind, don’t interrupt or start offering advice or judgments. Having an open ear means simple listening. Offer feedback only when prompted but refrain from taking over the conversation or sounding like you are lecturing. When you start to lecture the speaker regrets having talked to you and feels more resentment than relief from the encounter.

It doesn’t matter if you agree with what you are hearing or not. When you listen with an open ear it allows you to hear a different perspective. You may even learn something. When you are patient and free of your preconceived notions you may find the speaker has some valid and/or interesting points. Regardless, the fact that you are listening doesn’t mean you must share the same point of view; it just means that you care enough to listen. In relationships even if you don’t feel the same way as your partner, you might find that it more important to understand how he or she is feeling than to argue. How each of us feels is a reflection of the person each of us is.

While you are just listening, confirm that you have been listening by repeating back short clips of what you’ve heard. You don’t have to have all the answers. Remember that often the speaker only needs you to hear him or her. Express empathy when needed by interjecting a simple, “I am sorry that is happening.” Show your interest by asking questions and you will discover more about that person than you ever knew.

Be patient, pay attention and listen with an open ear and you will see your relationships improving. “Mastering good listening skills is one of the most precious gifts you can give to those you live, work and play with. It will help in building and maintaining strong bonds, endear you to those you care about, and will even improve your work environment.”

In the simplest of terms consider the word listen, it means just that, “To listen.”

About Tools To Life Developed by Life Coach Devlyn Steele, Tools To Life is a revolution in self- development, a 77-day program in which thousands have implemented successful changes in their lives. Devlyn Steele is a public consultant, a private counselor, a radio host and an author. He has hosted his own radio show called “Tools To Life” and has been a guest on over 150 various shows. For more information, visit: http://www.lifecoachadvice.com/

With the growing number of expert business people, consultants and coaches keen to make money from multiple streams of income I thought I’d share a WARNING to help you spot genuinely useful information from dangerous scams.

There’s a very simple seduction trick that is deadly powerful when it comes to parting the masses (whether they consider themselves highly intelligent or not) with their cash.

It has been used effectively by scammers, scoundrels and cheats throughout the ages, even before PT Barnum famously said, “Every crowd has a silver lining” (btw - he never did say “There’s a sucker born every minute” that was someone else…)

This is the simple rule, and anyone employing it for personal gain has, in my book, already succumbed to the dark side - okay I’m a Starwars fan…

“The easier you make getting hold of large sums of cash appear, the easier it is to get more people to part with more money to find out how.”

This is based on the truism (ie it appears true in most cases) that… most people are basically greedy and lazy.

So it goes without saying that you should be wary of anyone selling you the answer to “How To Make A Million Quid While Playing Tiddlywinks” if they also tell you doing that very thing is extremely easy, but only if you pay them to show you.

I’m not doubting that these people making inflated promises are probably successful “taking” money from their victims for themselves. What I am saying is that unless you’re willing to play the same scam (ie make becoming super-wealthy sound easier than it is in order to line your own pockets) they used on you in order to make your millions then you’ll have simply wasted your time and money.

The reality is, excluding random luck or cheating (as above), that anything worth having is going to require that you put in at least some effort, take a risk or two and/or add massive value.

The rewards promised by these dark-side scammers are, seductive, appealing and exciting, but rarely anywhere near as easy or profitable as they say.

Beware the darkside…

If you are keen to make money by adding value, taking calculated risks or by putting in a little effort then the following links may be a good place to look…

* Money Gym: The Wealth Building Workout - Nicola Cairncross

* Get Yourself Published - Suzan St Maur

* Lean Marketing Press - Our 50-50 Publishing Deal

‘Dangerous’ Debbie Jenkins
debs@debbiejenkins.com

(c) Copyright 2005 www.BookShaker.com

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