Business, economic development - the unofficial Chamber of Commerce

When people plan to marry, they expect to find in their partner
not only a lover but a friend also. A person with whom they can
share their opinions, their emotions, thoughts and fears. In
marriage we are looking for a partner who will be able to
understand our values, our likes and dislikes.

If a man and a woman are born and raised in the same country,
most likely they are familiar with the same songs, movies,
jokes, books and life in general. They basically have the same
roots.

In the case of a western man -foreign woman family everything is
more complicated and requires much more patience and
understanding from both spouses.

On one hand each of the partners has an opportunity to learn a
great deal about the other’s country, culture, traditions and
life styles which can be very interesting. On the other hand it
can be very disappointing, the inability to understand your
partner’s excitements and, or frustrations.

For example, say you are watching the television and suddenly
you see a famous actor or singer, or other type of an artist
whose name you have grown up with. Maybe this artist was an idol
for your parents and the music of this artist was often played
in your house when you were a child. Now seeing this singer on
television reminded you about your parents and house where you
grew up in . You nostalgically remembered the tree that you saw
from your window. You feel very light headed about this memory
and want to share this feeling with your foreign wife.

Unfortunately you realize that she is unable to understand your
feelings because she has no idea who this artist is. Her eyes
are absolutely empty, she has never even heard the song before.
You cannot believe it ! You tell her that this artist is so
famous! Everyone knows him! How it possible that she doesn’t
know??? Your light feelings of nostalgic disappear and instead
you feel within your soul at very large disappointment …

Be patient! Don’t become upset so quickly. Remember that your
wife has the same situation with you. You don t know her
country’s songs, her country’s famous actors, her books. She has
her own memories and in actuality, for her, everything is much
more difficult than it is for you. At least, you live in your
own country where everybody can understand you. She lives in
completely strange surroundings, where she has nobody to share
her feelings with, except you.

Do some research and learn about your wife’s country, culture
and lifestyles. Talk with her, ask her questions, get to know
what songs she likes, what movies and books are of interest to
her. The Internet will give you a great opportunity to find
anything! Tell her about your country’s culture, let her listen
to the music that you like, rent a movie for her that left you
with great impression. Let her understand you better through the
things that you like. Patience and time will help you to fight
cultural differences .

If you’ve been in a home based Internet business even a short
time, you’ve probably discovered that it’s not time to give up
your day job just yet. You haven’t come into those millions
you’ve heard others have so quickly amassed in cyber space.

Of course, you’d love nothing other than to be free of that 9 to
5 leg iron so you can work your business as much as you want.
Well, knowing that’s not going to happen overnight, it’s time to
learn how to live in both worlds without going bonkers in the
process.

You know you have only a limited amount of time away from your
day job to devote to your business. How are you going to get the
most from the time available? Here are some pointers I’ve jotted
down from my experience and reading on the subject.

Once you’ve decided to make a go of an online business, finding
time each day for working it can be daunting. Let’s say you have
a fulltime job. If you’re like me – and I’d guess most people
are or else there wouldn’t be an ever increasing number of us
out here – you need that fulltime income.

On top of that you no doubt have to slice up your time off to do
your share of the child rearing and household chores or upkeep.
Child rearing doesn’t take place just at home but includes
little league, Scouts, school functions, and the like. Household
chores can be routine activities like cleaning the garage, doing
the dishes, or cleaning the garbage disposal. All these are time
consuming.

How can you possibly fit anything else into your schedule? Maybe
the best thing is to make the most of your time when you wrestle
down those precious couple of hours per day on the net.

To begin, you’ll want to take a hard look at how much time
you’re spending on your own leisure activities – softball or
bowling league, hobbies, and so forth. Decide what you can limit
or scrap altogether and come up with a time per day you can
afford to work at your online business.

Now it is time to take a look at cutting out some distractions,
at least those over which you have some control. It is time to
develop a kind of tunnel vision, lessening some of the noise
around the house like television, radio, video games, etc.
Decide what you’re threshold of distraction is before you can no
longer focus on your business. Find a quiet time to work.

With all that accomplished, now develop a daily routine. I start
out each day reading my email. I sift through and get the
important stuff first and take action if any is needed. Then I
look at the junk email, take notes on any good ad writing I see,
and file 13 the rest.

Next I read my ezines. Ezines are my primary source of knowledge
about online business. Everything I can buy about business is
there someplace in the world of ezines, so I don’t just skim
them to see if my free ads got posted and trash them.

I read and file the articles by category. They become my ezine
encyclopedia. I notice the editors’ notes and look at their
disclaimers, warranty policies, and subscribe/unsubscribe links.

Next on my agenda is to study my affiliate materials. Since my
affiliate programs go together with my own endeavors, I learn
daily from going to the links in them.

Your daily routine will vary from mine according to your
individual needs. However, from your daily routine, you should
develop your weekly habits. My weekly objectives are to write an
ezine article, publish my ezine, and improve my web site.

If you find yourself drifting away from your objectives, don’t
panic, but try to work your way back on track. Be flexible about
interruptions and allow for problems. This is a complicated life
we lead. Why would your business be less so?

Give up computer time to your spouse and children. One of your
business goals should be to buy a computer just for the
business, but for now, please share.

Review your daily and weekly accomplishments. Evaluate every
task and step. Develop a to-do list and check off the items you
complete. Start to-do lists for tomorrow and next week. Adjust
your routines according to the quality of your accomplishments.
If you’re spinning you’re wheels, admit it and move on.

Last but not least, take time off. Not as a reward, but as part
of your routine. Schedule a cool-down time at the end of every
online session.

Take one or two entire days off per week. Spend time with your
family. Forget about your business until the next day. Obsession
can be a crippling force in your business. Don’t let it overtake
yours.

Please heed the advice you’ve just read. Your family, whom you
must live with, and your boss, whom you can’t say goodbye to
just yet, will thank you for it.

Men On Dating- Timing, Turn-Offs and Keepers

Dear Relationship Coach-

“We met online and seemed to hit it off right from the start.
After he answered my ad, we went on our first date, and it was
fabulous. I believe we both felt a strong chemistry and learned
a lot about each other. At the end of the evening we agreed to
get together again. He called me the next day and we talked for
three hours. On our second date, we spent the whole day
together. After three dates (and many emails, phone calls) - we
were talking on a Thursday night. We had previously discussed
plans for Saturday. However, he did not mention it before we
hung up. I wasn’t sure of how to handle the situation, so I
waited until a day later and left a voice message for him,
saying hi. After four days with no word, I left him an
invitation to dinner at my place. I never heard back. What
happened? What am I supposed to think?” (Confused Female)

Many single women write to me expressing confusion, uncertainty
and frustration regarding the whole dating scene. Their stories
are often (like the one above), filled with tales of broken
dates, unanswered emails and/or phone calls and guys just
disappearing for no apparent reason. They are looking for
answers about what qualities men look for in choosing women to
date and want to know what single guys really want from their
relationships. Most of all, they want to know how to find and
build mutually satisfying and lasting relationships.

After receiving the above email, I decided to query several
single guys and ask for their thoughts, reactions and
suggestions to this and other questions that women want answers
to. The men I spoke to are all; never married, twenties to
thirties, professional, attractive and financially successful.
All have very full social lives and have been actively meeting
and dating women for years. Only one guy (David, a small town
mayor and a professional lobbyist for a trade association) is in
a relationship. However, he travels quite a bit and spends a lot
of time out socially with mixed groups of singles.

Their feedback for the writer of the above question contained
somewhat differing views, but had a consistent thread running
through it. The bottom line - he liked her and had an interest,
but something changed and he decided he didn’t want to continue.
The men offered such comments as “he decided he’s just not that
interested in her” and ” I wonder if they had sex, because some
guys are into the chase and loose interest after that”. One guy
was surprised that this had occurred after they had spent a lot
of time together and there had been a real interest in getting
to know each other. All of the guys felt that he should have
handled the situation differently. David felt the writer should
have brought up the issue of getting together right away- during
the phone call. He believes “this would have cleared up the
ambiguity and let her know upfront where she stood.” He also
commented that a woman needs to “focus on what is happening in a
relationship right now”. He cautioned, “don’t rely on past
dates, go with what is happening now.” Their comments gave birth
to more discussion and many related questions that came up for
me as they shared about their dating experiences and their
beliefs. The end result? A brief snapshot of the qualities men
look for in women and their thoughts on dating, timing,
commitment and marriage.

What are turn-ons for you?

* ” Personality is very important. Look for easy-going, easy to
be with, low maintenance”. * ” Confident, fun, strong - yet
kind- women” * ” Takes care of herself- mentally and physically”
* “ Makes decisions based on what is good for her, not to please
me or someone else” * “ Is positive and can be part of a healthy
give-and-take relationship” * ” Attractive and has style and
class” * ” Is a good friend, easy-going. easy to be with” * ” Is
upfront and communicates feelings/wants/needs clearly and
directly” * ” Comfortable with herself/her body/her decisions”

What are turn-offs for you?

* ” Doesn’t take care of herself- sloppy, disorganized, etc.” *
” Negativity is a big turn-off- behavior, relationships,
conversation” * ” High-maintenance- nothing is ever enough” * ”
Game-player/won’t express needs and feelings directly” * ”
Expects too much in general and doesn’t give back equally” * ”
Is always the victim- everyone unfair and unkind to them” *
“needy, insecure, clingy” * ” selfish- stingy with money, time,
friends”

What are the qualities that make a woman a “keeper”?

* ” Nurturing” * “supportive” * ” intelligent” * ” very into me”
* ” appreciates what I contribute and is respectful of my
feelings” * ” self-reliant” * “family-oriented, likes kids” * ”
career or no career ok as long as she contributes to the family
(great mom)

How would you define “date”?

* ” Make plans in advance” * ” There is something there besides
sex” * ” This is something you want to pursue- have an interest
in the person” * “Friends with benefits can lead to dating or be
considered a date” * “Hooking-up is not dating”

How does a woman know if a guy is really interested?

* ” He will pursue her” * ” No matter what, he will keep in
contact” * ” He communicates regularly and pursues a dating
relationship”

How does a guy let a woman know he is not/no longer interested?

* ” He will vanish” * ” Email or call but not bring up getting
together” * “Say I had a great time, etc.- but then not call” *
“Won’t return calls or call when he said he would” * “Talk with
her about how he is feeling/not feeling, but this is hard for
many men to do” * “Has to do with his age and level of maturity-
these will determine which way he will handle it”

Why/when do guys marry?

* ” It’s about maturity and readiness” * ” Age and what friends
are doing plays a large role” * ” Has to do with readiness for
making a commitment and having kids, etc.” * ” Heeds to feel
financially, emotionally ready” * ” Needs to really click with a
woman- on all levels” * “timing is a lot of it”

The content of the feedback from these guys was very consistent.
The overall consensus? High-maintenance, negative women are the
biggest turn-offs. Confident, together women, who take care of
themselves, can communicate honestly and directly and are easy
to be with- got the highest marks. Timing in relationships plays
a huge role. Mostly, the men emphasized that when a guy is truly
interested in a woman, he will pursue her and let her know. If
he offers excuses and doesn’t follow through, he’s just not
interested- either in her or in a relationship at this time.

My advice to the women out there. “Listen” closely to what he
communicates non-verbally. If he says one thing, but does
another, he is not telling you the whole truth. If you have just
begun dating someone or have seen him for a while and his
behavior towards you changes suddenly- address this with him
immediately. Most of all, if something just doesn’t feel right,
it probably isn’t. Trust your instincts and let them be your
guide.

If your days seem shorter it may have nothing to do with
Daylight Savings Time and more to do with the “time wasters”
that steal your time – minute by minute, hour by hour. Time
wasters aren’t necessarily things we do, but rather things we
don’t do. Let’s say for example you have a series of file
cabinets that on the outside seem neat, but once opened looks as
if a Pendaflex bomb went off. Sure in theory you know where the
files are, they’re in this stack of file cabinets… somewhere.
This is a time waster. By setting up a system for organization
you’ll know exactly where to look for this file each time you
need it. This won’t just lessen your frustration, it will help
give you the momentum you need to organize other areas of your
life and get rid of those thieves of time: time wasters.

Research has shown that most people lose up to two productive
hours each day. The primary reason: time wasters. Be aware of
time wasters that could be secretly stealing your time:

ØDisorganized closets: how many mornings have you spent digging
through your closet trying to find a specific blouse or shirt
that seems hidden between a slew of clothes. ØOverloaded
drawers: are you sure you still need all those socks? ØPack
rats: you don’t need to keep everything, seriously you don’t.
Get rid of it, sell it, give it away or toss it, but don’t keep
it. The general rule of thumb is if you haven’t touched it in
six months, you probably don’t need it anyway.

Time is life’s biggest and richest resource, available to all of
us daily. It is what we do with it that is important. So often
our days are shortened and muddled by the numerous time wasters
that we don’t realize are there.

Managing your time more effectively is easy once you’ve
identified your own time wasters. With this accomplished, you
will have taken the first step to eliminating those time wasters
and getting on the path to rewarding yourself with a precious
gift – the two hours you have been losing every day.

Start slowly and remember, you gotta have fun doing it; so look
out time wasters – this is your time!!

Are the endless lists of Top-7’s and Top-10’s taxing your brain and your memory? Do you ever feel like trying to keep all these ideas straight, let alone apply them properly at the correct moment in time an overwhelming chore? How often do you find yourself having to review these lists? Perhaps endlessly until the next list comes out and then it’s back to square one again.

Wouldn’t you rather live, work and be spontaneously effective, without having to pull out your “how to” lists? Just imagine for a moment beng able to live this way. Doesn’t this feel like a weight has just been taken off your shoulders? Don’t you already feel more competent, more confident. Now I know you “think” this is not possible, but I would like to suggest that you already, even if you doubt this, know deep inside you what is the right thing for you in every moment.

You see most of us have had this knowledge drummed out of us by the numerous years of education each of us has undertaken. This probably sounds odd to you but if you notice how confident recent graduates feel about entering the work world you’ll find that most are paralyzed by fear and self doubt. Shouldn’t all this education make them feel capable and confident? Well, it’s supposed to but the actual effect is the reverse.

So with all this self doubt many keep looking outside of themselves, perhaps to others to provide them with a list of instructions of how to work and live effectively. So my question becomes, how do you know if any of these lists actually work? Well you might say, “if they achieve the results I’m looking for and thereby make me feel happy and fulfilled”.

Now I wish to point something out here, and it’s a subtle point. In order for you to know whether something is right for you, you already have to have an internal reference point by which to measure it by. You might wish to refer to a recent article I recently wrote, entitled “Intelligent Emotions” , to see a more elaborate discussion about this.

Without such an inner reference point, if something that happened to you was supposedly beneficial for you you wouldn’t know unless you spontaneously felt some feelings of happiness associated with it. The fact that you feel the happiness at all is a sign that there is an inner intelligence inside of you that “already knows” what is good for you!

So how does it feel to know that you have had this inner intelligence “drummed out of you” during your life? Probably not so good. That feeling is a sign that having it drummed out of you is “not good for you”! Are you ready and willing to reclaim it for your self and live a full, competent and confident life?

If so you may wish to visit the web site in my bio below. All the best in your journey.

Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is a Key Note Speaker, Author, Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build phyiscal, emotional, mental and spirtual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being.
Web Site: http://www.telecoaching4u.com

“Get Legal, or Get Cheated!” Are you an Ecommerce business
owner, or do you just seem to be one? There is a difference, and
that difference will hurt your business. When you sell products
on the Internet, just like anyplace else, you need to be buying
those products from a direct wholesale source. Either the
factory itself, or a factory authorized distributor. If you’re
not, you’re paying middleman markups that chip away at your
profits until you’re barely making enough to pay your hosting
fees. Sometimes I think that there are more middlemen on the
Internet than there are ECommerce sites, and they’re all
targeting YOU! Here’s a scenario: John Doe wants to open an
Internet store, and make lots of money. He can’t believe all the
news items about new Internet millionaires. He’s seen pictures
of these people in the news and on the ‘Net, and lots of them
look like they’re one beer short of a six-pack. “If they can do
it, so can I!” he thinks, and starts to search around the ‘Net
for information on starting a business. He finds boatloads of
hosting companies willing to put his site out there for just a
few dollars a month. He finds that many of them offer free
shopping carts, so that he can take his customers’ orders. He
finds services that let him accept credit card payments without
even applying for a merchant account. Only one thing left…what
to sell? John looks around the Internet for product
distributors. He comes across a wholesaler of name brand
products that he knows are very popular. He contacts them, and
they say, “Certainly! We will “drop ship” products directly to
your customer for you, one at a time, at wholesale. All you need
to do is fill out some paperwork about your business, and supply
us with your Tax ID number.” “Paperwork?” thinks John. “Tax ID
number?” Yechh! That sounds like work. Worse, it sounds like
LEGAL work. That’s a scary thing to most people, and John is one
of them! A little more searching, and John finds a web site
called “Stuff R Us”. Stuff R Us is screaming at him: “Thousands
of wholesale products you can sell on your website! NO
investment for inventory! We send each item right to your
customer! No shipping, no handling products, no minimums! Sign
up with us and we handle everything! This is your road to
Internet Riches!” Well, that’s the road John was looking for, by
golly, so he happily sends his name and address to Stuff R Us
along with his sign-up fee. Suddenly he can put all kinds of
products on his web site, and all he has to do is email his
orders to Stuff R Us, and they handle the rest. No paperwork, no
hassles. John is creating a new Internet millionaire, all right.
No doubt about it. Unfortunately, it’s not him. It’s Stuff R Us.
Stuff R Us is a middleman. They sit between John and the REAL
wholesaler. Every time John places an order with Stuff R Us,
they turn around and place that same order with the REAL
wholesaler, who sends it to John’s customer. John never knows
this is happening. Stuff R Us is marking up the real wholesale
price to John. John will piddle along selling the same
over-marketed imports as thousands of other Stuff R Us clients,
at over-inflated wholesale prices. Stuff R Us thinks this is
great, and they’re laughing all the way to the bank. So, where
did John go wrong? What did he do to unwittingly get stuck in
ECommerce’s biggest trap, the “middleman rut”? It’s simple. He
took the easy way out when searching for a supplier. Stuff R Us
said, “we’ll handle everything”, and John said, “Hmmm, that
sounds easy!” So, instead of bothering to do some simple legal
paperwork for his business, John let Stuff R Us cheat him out of
most of his profit, because it was easy. Please remember the
following two statements: 1.) You MUST work with REAL wholesale
suppliers to be truly successful in ECommerce. 2.) You cannot
buy from a REAL wholesale supplier if you are not a LEGAL
business. Let me repeat that last one, for those who may have
their Real Jukebox software turned up too loud: YOU CANNOT BUY
FROM A REAL WHOLESALE DISTRIBUTOR IF YOU ARE NOT A LEGAL
BUSINESS! ANYONE who allows you to purchase wholesale products
for resale without legal business paperwork is NOT a real
wholesaler, and is taking profit that should be yours. In our
business, we publish a very thorough directory that helps people
like John find and contact real wholesalers that will drop ship
products to his customers. Every once in a while, we get a
request for a refund on our directory from someone who says, “I
don’t have to go through all this legal stuff to use the
distributors in your Directory. I can just go to Stuff R Us and
do it the easy way!” I have no doubt that Stuff R Us finds this
absolutely hilarious. Getting legal is not that hard. Don’t
listen to the people who tell you that you don’t have to do it.
Here are the basics (in the US): 1.) File a DBA (Doing Business
under an Assumed name), or a Corporation. You can do it yourself
for surprisingly little. As far as I know, all states in the US
have web sites where you can read instructions and print the
forms. We did it for $80 here in Florida. 2.) If required in
your state, file for a local business license. Here, we paid $35
for this. Many states do not even require it. 3.) Contact your
State IRS office (NOT Federal!) and file for a “Sales and Use
Tax ID” or “Resale Certificate.” This is what a real wholesaler
needs to see in order to do business with you. They use it to
justify the fact that they are not charging you sales tax on the
products you purchase and resell to your customers. Here in
Florida, we got this for $5, and it took about 15 minutes.
Getting legal is not hard, and the benefits are tremendous.
Don’t make money for a middleman…make it for yourself! Chris
Malta WorldWide Brands, Inc. For more information, visit
http://www.YouCanDropship.com

It hangs from the ceiling above your bed while you toss through
the night hours. It waits inside the door of every employment
office you enter. It dogs your footsteps as you pound the job
search pavement. It lounges in an empty chair as you crawl
through another desultory interview. It sits on your shoulder
while you balance your checkbook’s alarmingly diminishing
balance.

Its name is anxiety. It’s made up of fear, self-doubt, guilt,
dread, and self-reproach. It ties your stomach in knots, makes
sweat ooze from your pores, makes your head hurt, your memory
blur, and your concentration dissipate. You can’t wash it away,
will it away or beat it away. The only way to contain it is to
embrace it, to make it your ally and your friend. How?

1. Although anxiety can unnerve you and make you feel paralyzed,
consider its ability to energize you. Watch it carefully,
without emotion or judgment distorting your vision, and you will
see it raise the hairs on your neck, excite your thought
processes, heighten your senses, stir your imagination and make
you keenly aware of being alive. Trace its pathway through your
body, coursing through your veins and touching every part of
each extremity. Instead of fighting it, embrace it as if it were
a natural amphetamine, a pill that makes you feel a little
strange but also exhilarated.

2. Learn to recognize when it will come and anticipate its
arrival with excitement. Without it, you are flat, beaten,
dejected. Wait for it to come, welcome it, and view it as your
body’s ally to focus yourself on the job search situation. Have
your anxiety stay close to you, forcing you to be aware of your
surroundings and ready to express your thoughts and feelings to
a potential employer with enthusiasm and energy.

3. Talk to your anxiety as if with an old friend. Look at it as
your best personal source of familiarity, camaraderie and
support. Let it work for you, not against you and you have not
only tamed the beast but have created a more enjoyable and
positive environment for yourself. Your self-doubts will always
linger but they are at a manageable level where you can calmly
push them into the background while you concentrate on making a
great self-presentation.

After a short amount of practice, you will find yourself almost
in a panic before the anxiety arrives because you need that
charge of energy to get you going and move you forward. Try it
and see if it works for you.

Men, learn how to behave on dating and personals sites.

Being a man and also being the owner of a dating site myself I
have to tell all my fellow men that you are chasing all the
women away. Most of you anyway. Women are keen on how we behave
because most of us all behave the same way on dating sites. Here
is a list of DO’s and DON’TS to help keep the women at these
sites and to help you get some responses.

1) DON’T copy and paste 25 exactly same emails and send them
off. Women see right through this and it get’s you no-where.
Ever wonder why you don’t get responses? That’s the first
reason. DO send individual emails and put some thought into
contacting women on these dating sites. REMEMBER: women get 100
emails a day from all sorts of guys. If your email has no heart
then you just go over-looked.

2) DO spell check your email, women are so turned off by a guy
that cannot spell it shows you are either stupid or just lazy.
The same thing goes for grammar. Take some time to get it right
guys and you will get a response.

3) DON’T choose a nickname that has a sexual innuendo (unless
you are on an adult dating site). Remember, women usually like
men with some class and Roger_69sU shows that you just want a
one night stand. Try something more clever.

4) DON’T contact single women if you are married. It is a waste
of their time and is an insult. DO read their profile and see if
they are interested in married men.

5) DON’T lie. DON’T lie. DON’T lie. Enough said.

6) DO not send women pictures of your “privates”. They will ask
if they want to see that. DO send them a nice picture that shows
your sense of humor or style.

7) DON’T just send an email after you see their picture. DO read
their profile first.
DON’T harass women that are not interested. This ruins the
site for everyone and could very well get you banned from the
dating site forever. Many sites now have reporting features for
this very reason. DO treat all others on the site as though you
were talking in person to them. You would harass them to their
face would you?

This is just a small list of some of the incredibly stupid
things guys are doing on Internet dating and singles sites. Now
of course there are some great guys out there that are honestly
looking for a nice date or relationship so any women reading
this, just bear with us, we men are slowing catching up and
figuring it out.

Hope this article helps.

* Be in a good mood when writing a love letter. Never try to
write a love letter when you’re in a bad mood, not only will it
be more difficult to write but your bad vibes will make their
way into the letter.

* Write a love letter anytime. Don’t wait for a special occasion
to write one. Anytime you want to spice up your relationship is
a great time for a love letter.

* Your love letter should look appealing. Fountain pens look
nicer than ball point pens. Plain paper is fine, but try to
choose a better grade of paper stay away from lined paper or
paper with lots of designs printed on it.

* Think about why you’re writing. Do you want to say you had a
good time, are you asking for a date, are you expressing your
affection, do you want to know how they feel about you or do you
want to say I miss you?

* Always hand write your love letter even if your writing is
sloppy. Never type it unless your handwriting is truly
illegible. Don’t underline or write any words in all caps; it’s
like yelling.

* Only say what you really mean. Don’t make promises you can’t
keep and don’t write anything you may regret later. Once the
letter leaves your hands there is no guarantee it will stay
private. * A one page love letter is great. Love letters aren’t
meant to be long. As you get more comfortable, your letters may
get a little longer but don’t write a book.

* If you’re writing an erotic lover letter, talk about yourself
as well. If you wish to arouse you can write about how hot, wet,
positions and lingerie.

* Re-read your love letter to make sure it says what you mean.
You may want to write a rough draft first.

* Use a thesaurus to find unique words for your love letter,
such as: ~ Openers – Dear, Dearest, My Love, Dearest Love, My
Beloved, My Sweetheart, My Darling, My Sweet, Darling ~ Middle –
cherish, idolize, embrace, hold dear, adore, caress, desire,
fondle, fascinate, passion, smitten, enchanted, captivated,
treasure, stroking, touch, infatuated, precious ~ Endings –
yours sincerely, with love, all my love, truly yours, love, till
we meet again, your new friend

The e-mail came just yesterday. A friend had a friend that had
been trying for 20 years (that’s not a typo: TWENTY years!) to
get Permanent Residency status but, due to INS paperwork snafus
and red tape, had been frustrated in his efforts. The issue is
not whether he qualifies; the issue is the paperwork.

Can you imagine being that frustrated for that long? Neither
could my friend, so she sent an email to everyone in her address
book asking if anyone knew anyone that could help. It sounds
pretty unlikely, doesn’t it? You’d think there would be a better
chance of winning the lottery than fixing a government paperwork
problem with an e-mail shot out into the universe! Why bother
even asking?

Guess what? A member of my motorcycle club works for the INS, in
the same office where the problem has been! What are the odds??

There is a very important lesson in all of this, and here it is:
if you want something, no matter how unlikely it may seem, ya
gotta ask! My friend could have easily thought that it was
ridiculous to send out such a message because of the
overwhelming odds against getting results. But she did it
anyway. Ya gotta ask!

How does this affect your business? There are a million ways;
here are just a few.

For one thing, it reminds us to ask for the order, the single
most common reason that sales are lost; we don’t ask them to buy
from us! Ya gotta ask! Do you know of any opportunities to
partner with someone but haven’t asked because “they wouldn’t be
interested”? Ya gotta ask! Have you spotted that perfect new
salesperson but haven’t approached them because they seem happy
in their current job? Ya gotta ask!

Why don’t we ask these things? Here are some reasons: assumption
(we think we already know the answer), fear of appearing foolish
or stupid, fear of rejection, and we just don’t think of it!

What can we do about this? First we have to adopt a new way of
thinking, and then we have to get into the habit of thinking
that way.

Let me introduce you to “Dave’s Rule of Wrong”. Simple yet
powerful, you can use this tool to determine whether asking is a
good idea. Ironically, the “Rule of Wrong” involves asking
yourself a question! “Which would be better? To ‘ask’ and be
wrong or to ‘not ask’ and be wrong?”

Which would have been better? For my friend to ask for help for
her friend and been wrong (not gotten any help), or to not ask
for the help and been wrong (in this case, someone DID know
someone that could help; had she not asked, she would have been
wrong because of the missed opportunity)?

It’s pretty clear that there is no harm in asking and getting no
results, but harm in not asking and missing an opportunity.

Which would be better, to ask for the sale and be wrong (get a
‘no’) or to not ask for the sale and be wrong (they would’ve
said ‘yes’ and you missed a sale)?

Got the idea?

Sorry, I had to ask!