Don’t you want the perfect life? The perfect job, mate, family, home? There’s nothing wrong with that desire if you define perfection on your own terms. Usually, we let others (a friend, teacher, parents, and the media) define it for us, and then spend the rest of our life trying to live someone else’s fantasy.
Women, in particular, are bombarded with hundreds of images of perfection on a daily basis, all of which promise happiness, yet few of which real women can achieve. (In a magazine interview Jane Fonda said, “Most womenno matter how beautifulgrow up feeling their bodies are not perfect.”) Magazine photos of even the plus size models don’t dare show one little dimple of cellulite on their size 14 thighs! TV celebrity chefs demonstrate how to cook the perfect gourmet meal in minutes, and design experts tell us how to serve it up on perfectly decorated tables. This is not real life for most of us. Have you ever had the time, energy or desire to decoupage your own napkin rings? How about pressing your own olives for the bread dip at your next dinner party? Just thinking about it makes me exhausted and begs the questionwhy?
There was a time I wouldn’t invite guests to my house unless it was thoroughly scrubbed by professional cleaners within a day or twoas if someone would really notice the dust bunny lurking on the floor behind the toilet. Surely, it would spoil their evening and any image of perfection they had of me.
The unending quest for perfection upon a lifetime ends up looking like a horrible make-up job that smothers reality in layers of noticeably thick cover-up, mismatched colors and empty promises. If you think you must be perfect, nothing will ever make you feel perfect enoughunless you want to sell your soul and become a Stepford Wife. Do you want your kids to remember how clean you kept the house or the fun things you did together? I’m not saying you shouldn’t keep your house neat, work hard to be promoted, improve your tennis skills or even get that nose job you’ve always wanted. Just make sure you’re doing all of it for yourself, not to meet someone else’s definition of perfection. Your imperfections are what make you unique, vulnerable and lovingthose are the qualities in life worth pursuing.
Chase the things in life that make you truly happy. Being a happy Goddess will always outrank being a perfect Goddess.
5 Ways to Stop Chasing Perfection:
• Make a list of all your unique qualities and assign a positive word to each of them.
• Remind yourself that what you see in magazines and on TV isn’t REALit’s merely entertainment.
• Adjust your expectations of yourself and others based on each individual’s ability and interest.
• Shine in those areas that come natural to you and don’t worry about the rest.
• Before going the extra mile, ask yourself if it really matters and why.
Excerpted from the book: The Goddess of Happiness, A Down-to-Earth Guide for Heavenly Balance and Bliss
Debbie Gisonni, aka The Goddess of Happiness, is an author (The Goddess of Happiness: A Down-to-Earth Guide for Heavenly Balance and Bliss and Vita’s Will: Real Life Lessons about Life Death & Moving On), speaker, happiness expert and columnist for iVillage.com. Contact: http://www.goddessofhappiness.com
Copyright, All Rights Reserved, Debbie Gisonni
